Once More, With Feeling

Have you ever had a concert or drama rehearsal where you thought you had done your very best only for the director to say, "Once more, with feeling!"? The director wasn't quite satisfied with your effort or lack of expression, and he thought it should all be done again. Well, that has never happened to me, mainly because I have never been talented enough to be a part of a concert or drama. Somehow, the sentiment seems fitting for our current situation with Missy's liver transplant.

This time around has been much different, however. In July, there was a lot of emotion and excitement involved leading up to the surgery date. Everything has been much more subdued this time. Maybe it is because we are guarding our emotions more, not wanting to be disappointed again. Maybe we are being more cautiously optimistic this time. Whatever the reasons, it hardly seems that we are only a couple of days away from the transplant.

Things are going well so far. The Arizona Transplant House had rooms for both Missy and her donor. That has been a huge blessing especially since the local hotel rates have increased due to the season. It seems like we are mostly just along for the ride this time. We thought we had some control last time, but we soon found out that we didn't. Fortunately, the same God is in control every time. I guess that we might be more trusting this time. It wasn't that we didn't trust God earlier. In fact, I don't think we could have trusted more. We probably did take some things for granted though, and we had our own way of how we thought the situation should work out. As it often happens, God had some different ideas in store for us.

I'm sure the anxiety will increase as Thursday gets closer. We know everything is in God's hands, and He can handle anything that happens. None of this has surprised Him. So, I don't really know what the "feeling" is this time around. Part of it is moving to the back seat and trying not to give driving directions. Part of it is a feeling that this time had better work. It would be extremely difficult to endure a letdown again. As always, we appreciate your prayers. We'll let you know more as it happens.